Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
