We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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