This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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