You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
