Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
