Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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