You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize