Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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