I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
