friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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