Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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