I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
