I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
