CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize