i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
