sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
