Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
