Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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