How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize