Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
