Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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