My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Are my feet made of real feet?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
