I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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