Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
