i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
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I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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