Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found your dick twin last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
