My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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