Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
