You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize