oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize