i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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