Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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