i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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