I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
