If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the condom got lost in my hair
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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