Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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