I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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