i already hear my dad disowning me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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