I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
