After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
