she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
