What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
