i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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