My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
