What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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