I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize