I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
