Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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