Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
