I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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