How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
