Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Alive.
So much puke
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
