there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I want is dick and wine.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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