i need an iv and a liver transplant
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
