if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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