I wannas sexs uuuuu
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize