Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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