I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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